【Interpersonal Communication】Change the way of expression, the world will become very different

TEXT_Irene Hung / PHOTO_Irene Hung

Interpersonal Communication is always an important subject, and it’s also an indispensable soft skill. A good communication will not only make the atmosphere harmonious and peaceful, but also fulfill your demands as you wish. On the contrary, emotionally negative communication not only fail to get what you want, but may cause unnecessary trouble or argument. It can be observed from daily examples that quarrels originate from the accumulation of negative emotions. It has a “superimposition” effect. When one receives the other’s negative emotions or aggressive words, he will naturally superimpose his own negative moods. Likewise, the other will also be affected by emotions and respond in a more rudely tone, hurting each other back and forth.

“To be angry is to punish oneself by others’ mistakes.” — Napoleon

Therefore, how to speak politely and convincingly requires some skills. The following are the key notes that I’ve learned from the books and experience since I took up the communication work!

5 elements of proper expression: attitude, volume, tone, height, speed

• These 5 elements are the items in the communication of “voice”.

Don’t ask 4 things: age, marriage, children, property

• These 4 privacy items can easily make the other feels infringed. Don’t get into the topic unless the other actively talks about it.

Use affirmative sentences as the opening.

• (X) The tableware is out of style! But the dishes are great!
• (O) The dishes are really great, but the tableware can be improved!

If you want to win the others’ approval, you should use “action Verb” form.

• Sure, let’s go to Tokyo now!

To impress the other’s heart, you should use “particularly different” vocabulary to express.

Pay attention to the details in other, discover the uniqueness of the other, and sincerely express appreciation.

• ex: Compliment the characteristics that are not usually noticed or are often ignored by people, such as “the earlobe is very delicate…”, it will attract the other’s attention and increase the memory point!

There are serious prejudices in the minds of customers undoubtedly. As a salesperson, you should find ways to eliminate the prejudices in customers, rather than develop your own prejudices.

• →Many people say that salespeople must cultivate the flexibility not to be afraid of rejection. More importantly, they do not presume a position, because this will prompt them to deter or withdraw themselves and miss potential opportunities.

Speaking of everyone’s preferences and interests, the first priority is always themselves.

• →You have to learn to look at things from the other’s perspective; use topics that are of interests to the other to get closer with each other; adopt concepts that the other understands to communicate the ideas you want to instill.
• To communicate with female, what she needs is not an answer but a recognition.
• When communicating with seniors, you don’t need to be afraid, but show the spirit of learning.

The purpose of speaking is to make the other feels expected, curious, and unfinished.

Don’t want to stop the conversation? First, you should abandon complacency.

• →Don’t just keep talking, you should be alert to see if the other’s silence is because of disinterest or disagreement.

With positive “coaching-style questions”, the other must share the good past experiences with you.

• →Instead of throwing out an open-ended question and then waiting for answers, it’s better to gradually guide the other to speak out.

Sharing the pain can establish a true relationship of trust.

• →Try to think about the problem from the other’s standpoint. If you can’t put yourself in his shoes and solve the problem for the other from the bottom of your heart, you are just settling your own problems or interests!

Use “sensibility” packaging to deliver “reason” to the heart of the other. →Speak with reason, move with affection.

• ex: Instead of telling the other “why shouldn’t you eat sweets”, “why shouldn’t you watch your mobile phone”, you should start from the emotional side and dissolve the problem of “want to eat sweets”, “the urge to look at your phone”.

Mirroring: By acting similarly to each other, it’s a shortcut to win relationships for establishing mutual trust.

Sandwich Communication Method (PNP): The messages should be conveyed in the order of “positive → negative → positive”.

Proper handling of the Internet crisis: respond immediately → admit mistakes → promise improvement → thank everyone

• →Crisis incidents triggered on the Internet should be handled “quickly, urgently, promptly”, because Internet information spreads rapidly and widely. If the gossips cannot be paused immediately, it will only allow netizens and the media to spread more fiercely.

Many times, you will find that there is a different outcome between communicating the same thing by expressing from different people. Hence, this is because of the art of speaking. Don’t blame others for not accepting your opinions and ideas. Maybe you should switch your way of speaking!

＊Feedback is welcome! It’s my pleasure to exchange different ideas ^ ^

＊Please feel free to give claps, and subscribe to follow my articles!

＊If you like this article and would like to share it, please indicate the source of this original article. Don’t misappropriate！